Separation Anxiety


A couple weeks ago, my husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. A few days beforehand during the preceding weekend, we took the opportunity to go on our first adults-only date since RT was born. I’ll be honest, it was nerve-wracking for me. I knew she was in good hands. That wasn’t the issue. I was much more nervous about how I was going to fare without my little girl.

The night before our date, I could hardly sleep. That morning, I almost started to hyperventilate as I was packing RT’s bag with everything she could possibly need. From bottles, to her favorite toys, to more diapers than she could use in a week, I made sure she was more than prepared. The whole car ride over to my mother-in-law’s house, I stared at my baby, trying to make the most of the time I had with her that morning. My mother-in-law had five incredible kids of her own, so I knew she was more than capable of handling a baby for a few hours. We hung out at the house for about an hour before we took off for our date.


My husband and I went out for pizza and then to a movie. The whole time, I did my best not to focus on RT and what she might be doing. I tried not to talk about her while we were eating, but it was not easy. I spend all of my time with her, and the most fascinating parts of my day are when she does something new or unusual. My fiber arts are more interesting to me than to anyone else, so I don’t speak about my projects too frequently. My husband and I ended up talking mostly about video games during our meal, even though it’s been quite some time since I’ve sat down to play them for any real length of time.

The movie we saw was Deadpool. It was beyond excellent, but definitely not something any child should see. In other words, it perfectly captured the essence of the character. I’m glad we got the chance to watch it in theaters. Both my husband and I are comic book fans, and Deadpool is among our mutual favorites. During the film, I was able to take my mind off of RT and pay attention. It was a good distraction, but as soon as it ended and we stepped outside, I was anxious to get back to my little one.


I know most post-partum women are beyond excited to get out of the house and spend some alone time with their significant others after the baby is born. I can’t say that I wasn’t happy to have some one-on-one time with my wonderful husband. However, even though she was already more than seven months old, I still wanted to spend every waking moment with RT. My family is made up of homebodies, and I’m more than content to spend our evenings together watching Netflix after my husband gets home from work. It’s great that RT got to spend some extra time with her grandmother, but in all honesty, I’m jealous of that time. My little girl is such a remarkable being, and I love watching her grow and play. I feel like every moment I’m not with her is a missed opportunity. I hope I always feel that way.

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