There are a lot of aspect of female life that society at large doesn’t seem to talk about much. One of these is the female midlife crisis. From what I’ve seen online and what I’ve heard anecdotally, women go through this phase somewhat earlier than their male counterparts, and it’s more focused on identity than status. Now, I’m still a few years away from the average age that most women deal with this. I’m only 28, but it’s the only thing that seems to explain what I’ve been going through lately.
I’ve been rethinking a lot about my life – what I do, who I am, and what I want to accomplish. I put a lot of my lifelong goals on the back burner when my husband and I bought this property. I really wanted to make the homestead work (and it did for a while), but I really had no idea how much time and effort it was going to take to keep everything operating smoothly. There is definitely a huge satisfaction in self-sufficiency and completing something from scratch, but the time I spend maintaining our land is time that I can’t spend writing, or knitting. It’s time I don’t get to spend reading to my kid.
I’ll be honest, that’s a big part of the reason that I haven’t been updating this blog as frequently over the past several months. Ginger Gardens began as a homesteading blog, but if that’s no longer where I’m focused, then what is this all about? I would like to keep the blog going, I’ve decided. It’s going to focus on my lifestyle as a stay-at-home mom and I will continue to undertake various projects around the house. There will be a lot less about gardening and sustainability.
My lifestyle is likely going to change somewhat as well. Those of you who have been following me for a long time now know that I enjoy writing. I’ve published poetry and I’ve made quite a bit of progress on several novels, though I haven’t tried to publish any of those yet. Lately, I’ve been getting back into that routine. I’m working on a first draft of one book, a second draft of another, and two online writing exercises that I’m uploading under a pseudonym.
I also need to get out and travel more. It’s something that I’ve always enjoyed, and there are places that I have wanted to visit since I was a child that I haven’t made it to yet. My husband is more of a homebody than I am, so he’s more reluctant to go on far-flung adventures. During the first five years of our relationship, I didn’t want to go anywhere without him, but I missed seeing new places too much. Therefore, we talked about it and it looks like I will start taking some solo trips, or going with friends or other family members while he stays home and relaxes. It’s important in a relationship to recognize and accommodate your differences.
Basically, I’m still figuring out who I am and who I want to be as time goes on. I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t want to pretend anymore, and I don’t want to make life decisions based on what society expects from me. It’s time to find myself again. I hope you will all stick with me on this new leg of my journey. I promise to start updating more often again, even if things are going to be a little different from now on.